"It is awful to want to go away and to want to go nowhere."- Sylvia Plath, The Unabridged Journals of Sylvia Plath. (via wordsnquotes)
"There’s so much more to life than finding someone who will want you, or being sad over someone who doesn’t. There’s a lot of wonderful time to be spent discovering yourself without hoping someone will fall in love with you along the way, and it doesn’t need to be painful or empty. You need to fill yourself up with love. Not anyone else. Become a whole being on your own. Go on adventures, fall asleep in the woods with friends, wander around the city at night, sit in a coffee shop on your own, write on bathroom stalls, leave notes in library books, dress up for yourself, give to others, smile a lot. Do all things with love, but don’t romanticize life like you can’t survive without it. Live for yourself and be happy on your own. It isn’t any less beautiful, I promise."-
If you are going to love me, please love me relentlessly - just as the tide always returns to kiss every grain of sand on the shore, no matter how many times it is pushed back out to sea. And if you are going to love me, you better love the ugliest scars that I keep hidden like monsters under my bed. Like the shadows that creep up my bedroom walls in the moonlight at 1 am when I can’t sleep. If you are going to love me, please love me passionately, like the leaping flames of an angry wildfire. Give me passion that never burns out. If you are going to love me, please know that I will push you away. And I may disappear at times, like the stars do on a cloudy night. But if you are going to love me, please make me see that being vulnerable doesn’t always hurt. Sweetheart, if you are going to love me, this is how you show me.
We ate our anniversary dinner at my favorite restaurant, under reservations that you made two weeks in advance. I felt you watching me as I ate my food; I was too afraid to look up and meet your needy eyes. But when you poured all your kind words over me, speaking of how wonderful the past twelve months have been, I was forced to meet your gaze, and the moment your eyes locked with mine, a single tear made its way down my flushed cheek. Instantly, your eyebrows buckled as you reached for my hand across the white tablecloth, cooing gentle words because you’re so grateful that I, too, am overwhelmed by my feelings for you. I wiped both eyes and mustered up a tired smile, and I wondered if I would always be this lonely.
that last sentence making me feel some type of way